My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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