i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
