and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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