ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
