I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.