We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
