I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
