Me too!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
