He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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