They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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