I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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