Michael Bay diarrhea
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
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