idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
