I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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