all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
