I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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