I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
