I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
