I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
