That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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