so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
