I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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