this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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