what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I haven't been this sober since birth.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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