Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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