Im at strip club and am horny
"it" just moved
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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