so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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