Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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