he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
