dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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