Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
