Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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