ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
