i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
