Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize