so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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