I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
