ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
