I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
