I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
