I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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