did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
