When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
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Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun