I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list