Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops