so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."