Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
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we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob