Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.