I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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