things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
