I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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