just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
