Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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