Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
