we're chasing vodka with high fives
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize