Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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