Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
