im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
