I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
