Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
