I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
