i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
