Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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