I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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