it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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