You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
