She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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